Tomorrow is Jackson's surgery and I can say that I'm freaking out. I haven't been able to sleep for days and the only way I keep from breaking down is distracting myself. I try to keep telling myself that this surgery is for Jackson to have better mobility and potentially an easier life. However, all I keep seeing is my happy, smiling little boy that is playing with his toys and he has no idea what is about to happen. I'm scared that something could go wrong or he could be in pain. I took him to the hospital yesterday for a consultation and my worst nightmare came true, Jackson knew that something was going on. He now freaks out when the doctors and nurses come in the room. I knew this day would come but it breaks my heart. I know they say he won't remember any of it but it doesn't make me feel any better.
I'm trying to be strong and every time I catch myself starting to cry I pray. It's the only thing I can do. Take a deep breath and pray.
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