Letters to Jackson cont.

6/13/10

You got excited about something today and you burst open one of the bigger blebs on your leg. Daddy kinda freaked out a bit but surprisingly I didn't. I was strangely calm. I had dad get the nurse and I helped the nurse stop the bleeding. You didn't seemed bothered by it at all. I thanked God for not letting these things bother you. Since you bled on your bed they had to change everything. The nurse Mike, who by-the-way was the best, told me to pick you up. I said "what? what do you mean? how? I don't know how? just pick you up?" I was so nervous. You were my fragile little baby! I didn't want to hurt you or make anything worse. He told me to just put my hands under your head and butt and just pick you straight up. This was the first time I got to hold you. You looked right into my eyes. I'll never forget it. It was like you knew exactly who I was, your mommy had you. It was only for a minute but it was the most precious minute of my life.

6/14/10

They took out your artery line in your head and your belly button. This means we got to hold you! You were still hooked up to lots of cords which we soon became Pros at moving around. They gave you to me, of course I cried. I'd been waiting for this moment for 4 days. I could have sat with you in my arms for days but Daddy wanted a turn too. He held you and so did Grandma. They started feeding you breast milk through a feeding tube today too. So many improvements in one day, it was a perfect day.

6/15/10

The wrap lady came in today and showed me how to do compression wraps on you. There is a silver stocking that went between your leg and the wraps themselves. This stocking has a antimicrobial ingredient in it so it decreases the chances of infection. The wraps have to be applied very gently so not to rupture any of the blebs. I caught on right away so I took the responsibility of changing them myself each day. I had the nurse put a note on your bed that says "My mom will change my dressings each day so please don't touch them! Thank You - Jackson". I know I'm a little controlling but hey, no one else knew how to do it right except me! Your condition is so rare that a lot of the Drs, nurses and medical students want to see your legs unwrapped. Everyday I would set up a time and everyone would come in at once and watch me up-wrap and re-wrap your legs. I'm ok with everyone wanting to see you. The way I look at it, its one more person that knows what KT is so they can help someone else in the future.

You had a lot of visitors today. Mimi, Uncle Caleb &Sam, and Auntie D came to see you. Mimi and Auntie D got to hold you. You are a very loved little boy.

6/16/10

Today it was just you, me and Grandma. I wanted some alone time with you since I could hold you know. Daddy had to go back to work. They let us get you in and out of your bed by ourselves so we held you all day. Grandma tried to take you from me whenever she could, I didn't want to give you up. Mimi bought you some book  so we both read to you. They let me try to feed you with a bottle today. I was really nervous. They gave me a bottle with 10ml of breast milk in it. You drank 2mls and fell back asleep. Still this was really good for a baby your age! The nurses decorated your bottle with your name and ribbons on it.

6/17/10

Today Grandma and I went to see you. I keep saying when 'went' to see you. Let me say that I was there everyday since I was let out of the hospital. We had a room in the Ronald McDonald house across the street. Every morning we would wake up and head to the hospital and wouldn't leave again until 7pm at night. The only time I did leave you is to pump more milk or eat. Otherwise I sat there with you all day. Just watching you or holding you.

You were getting better and better. The oxygen they are giving you is almost room air so you should be off that soon. They're still trying to figure out why your glucose levels are all over the place. That stinks because it means they are coming in a poking your toe every hour to check it. You hate it. I'm sure I would too!

I got to try and bottle feed you again today. You drank 7mls out of the 12ml they allowed you to have, which is awesome! I caught you smiling after you finished your bottle. Grandma got a picture of it. It might have been gas but I think you were smiling at me because you liked my milk.

6/18/10

We made it over for your rounds this morning with the Drs. They said your progressing like you should be with the bottle feedings. They thought there might have been something not working right with your bowels. They did an ultrasound to check but everything was ok. They were just trying to give you too much too fast. They re-started your feeds, just a little slower this time. Mimi came today and hung out with us. She held you a lot today too. Auntie D and Uncle Dave came to see you too. Auntie D brought you a doggie to keep you company in your bed. Daddy came today after work and stayed the weekend. He bought me a beautiful charm necklace. It had a 'J' on it for Jackson, a birthstone charm for June, and a charm that read 'Faith'. Our Faith is what we've been leaning on.